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The Melodies.

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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

When was the last time I'm here, updating my life for the world to read..? 

 Things have changed so much for the past 1 year plus. Yes, things have changed. I'm currently job seeking, sending my resumes to possible employers, and keeping myself busy. When I read my previous entries, I do wonder, how the hell did I managed to change myself, so much.

 The relationship was over. It ended in a heartbreaking and typical manner- we are no longer keeping in contact. I thought I was insane, and I thought I was going insane. In the end, I did went insane for awhile, and maintained the relationship for about 10 months. I suppose it wasn't easy for him either, to be with someone who's constantly having emotion fits. We abused each other mentally, and there came in lies, and more lies. I'm not someone who's keen on being lied to. I like honesty even if it is gonna hurt the shit out of me. Eventually, that relationship is over, as I have discovered all of his lies. Surprisingly, I wasn't the one who asked for a breakup despite me knowing about the lies he has fabricated. Yep, he was the one who wanted to break up. I merely accepted it, and start to move on with my life.

 It was empty, and lonely, but I'm really thankful for a couple of people who were always around for me, guiding me back. I took up various jobs at that point of time to take my mind off. It all went well, and I'm proud to say, I'm no longer that insane. I wonder if it's an age thing or it's just that I have recovered. I'm no longer that sensitive, and throwing emotion fits here and there. I've learnt to let go...

 Currently I'm in another relationship. Yes, this is a new one, and its young. We are together for barely half a year. Shits always happen, and I've learnt to care less. I mean, I think it's unselfish of me for to love unconditionally, but hold back when it's time to. I have done my part, and I'm merely making myself feel better. A friend said that all cats steal fishes, and I really have to agree on that. Men are like cats, they are picky about their choices of food, and at times they will steal a bite here and there. They just want a taste of everything. Well, in a way, the man here is a little similar to the previous - they lie. However, over the months and emotional turmoil, I have learnt to care lesser, and love myself more. 

 Some things are beyond my control, and I have understood that logic..

`beautiful delusions_
12:45 PM


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