♥

The Melodies.

<body>
Sunday, March 29, 2009

Peace, at last.

Okays, i will upload the photos on Sat's outing soon, after love send me the photos! I'm still waiting. LOL. Alrighty, I'm quite tired. Will blog after I've the photos. Heh hehs! :P anyways, i'm good. No more sandwiching, no more bombings of my phone, no more shouting, no more stress. imma happy kid once again (:

Thanks for being around.
I won't deny,
you're like my "hidden angel" (:

`beautiful delusions_
11:40 PM


<body>
Friday, March 27, 2009

Spacing out.

After 1 month plus, the both of us have changed, a lot. Closure, and it marks the end. You said you wish I am who I was. I'm wishing too, that I am who I used to be. Oh sugar, it used to be so worry-free. I don't have to worry or be wary about the people around me. It was very simple, very direct, and very genuine. There aren't any hidden motives or hidden sides of the beings. How did things turn out this way? It was pretty much like I was thrown to face one of the ugliest side of humans' nature without any warning. Reality and cruelty was thrown directly, straight at my face, forcing me to see; to face them.

Oh sugar, I was too sheltered, too simple. I can't accept what's happening, all of a sudden. It was kinda too much for me to understand, to learn, and to accept. I was told of ways to go about solving those issues, but sugar, don't you know, I can never bring myself to do this as I will end up giving in, surrendering myself to the situation. Sugar, you know that all candies, chocolates, and cartoons can't make me happy anymore. The reasons behind your escape and mine is pretty much similar, and I believe you know..

Oh wells, in any case, it's time that I put a serious stop to all mistakes and complications. I'm sorry, but this is the end of all.

I've never once doubted your love.
I was just lacking of security,
thus I moved on.

`beautiful delusions_
3:32 PM


<body>
Thursday, March 26, 2009

I don't wanna cheapen myself.

i've heard it. i've felt it. and i wanna stop it. i don't wanna degrade myself any further. do you even understand? i've my own pride as well.

and honey, that's why.

`beautiful delusions_
12:56 AM


<body>
Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Today i went to meet my aunt at White sands for some catching up. Each trip/meeting is always a fruitful one. I'm not referring to the delicacies or the gifts, but I'm referring to the talks. I do not know much about my grandparents' or my family history.



To start the lengthy and yet interesting talk, my aunt never fails to order lotsa food for the both of us. Say, something nice to bite whilst conversing is always nice to keep the talk going (:




Fooood!! Wells, we ordered these and sat and Xin Wang HK cafe for quite awhile. It took us hours to finish the food, and the stories (:

Honey green tea! wheeeeee! Trust me, it's nice. Something sweet with something that's a little bitter (:

And so the stories went on and on, and I'm never sick of those "old time" stories. It's always a dear joy to know more about your own family's history, about the people whom you love so dearly. Uhs.. And of course sharing with aunt about my own life, and how is everything going on for me. It's always a heart-consoling thing to do as she never fails to bring warmth and joy to my heart by letting me know that things aren't that bad after all (: Yes, my aunt is somewhat like a very benevolent lady who'll bring me to see a different perspective of life, and a better/brighter perspective at that.

After all the stories, be it joyful ones, heart aching ones, or ones that will make you go "woahs..." , aunt showed me 2 photos! (: heh hehs. I'm sorry, i didn't have clearer pictures due to my poor focus of the hand phone camera. hehs.


make a guess, who is who?! heh hehs!
Ans: One is my dear uncle, and the other is my grandma (the photo was taken when she was really young). The 2 dearies whom i love, so dearly.. (and yes, I do miss them like crazy. I'm gonna go to the temple tomorrow with mummy to pay my respects to my grandpa, grandma, and uncle! Uh wells, like any other being, at times i wished that they're still around.. Oh wells, i believe they're happy up there as well. *smiles*)

After the stories, and heavy lunch/tea, i head home whilst aunt headed down to town for some shopping and errands (: It is always a joy to share your life experiences/issues with someone dear (:

24th March 2009. Tuesday.

Wells, accompanied someone to court today, and it was like my freaking first time at the subordinate court?! The entire atmosphere in there was solemn and prolly, a little bit of grieve, with a tinge of anxious-ness in all. It was that scary...

After the entire hearing, we went to Harbour Front's hawker centre, for dinner. After which, went to Vivo, for some flops! ((:

I tell you, the staffs there are super uber friendly and nice. I was chatting pretty much with them, about the flops, about what so and not. It was indeed an enjoyable conversation luhs. Kinda relaxing and funny- I was laughing pretty much as they were joking away. lols. And one was saying "when you're free, just come down and look for me this colour-blind boy." Apparently, I was looking for purple flops, and he kept pointing out the wrong colours to me. LOL. That's not it. His partner was like "alamaks! this is green/blue la!" and his partner will whack his head, and claimed that he's whacking on my behalf?! lols. The entire scenario was darn funny back then. OMG.


MY new floral purple flops! wheeee! ps. i'm intending to get another pair- lighter colour/light purple/light blue (:



Took this on the way to Harbour Front. Tell me, its SU-WEET (:

23rd March 2009. Monday.

Early celebration for Junhui Baby's birthday! (:


Her cake looks deliciously-sweet, right?! And it was darn freaking sweet. *shivers*


The view from the pit downstairs Yunxia's house. Let me tell you, the view upstairs her place is even better! Such a pity, i didn't manage to take any shots 'cuz i was busy playing WII. hahas.

BBQ STARTS! (:


I gave up fanning after awhile, and went up back to Yunxia's place for some ice-cold drinks. HAHAS. Yinhui and baby was left there, to start the fire. HOHO.



Okays, this is random, but I thought the magnets look cute, so... i took a shot of them. hehs.





The food, and the girls. HEHS.

Spent the night BBQ-ing away, and eating away. OMG. I was so bloated at the end of everything luhs. HEHS.

Heh, the night view by the pool, and bridge (with baby and vanny love). hehs..


Okays, this is baby and I. lols. random shot luhs..

22nd March 2009. Sunday

Alright, the pictures are up, finally. Uhs, went out with HY and Ah girl. Wells, had dinner at clark quay's Bakerzin. Trust me, the food wasn't as nice as Paragon's. hehs.


I was sooo bored on the cab, that i decided to take a horrible picture of myself- print this out, paste it on your door, and i can guarantee you, your house will be safe. HEHS.




Alrighty, that's all for that day, i think. *nods* And that's all for today! (:

It has always been this way.
Cheap, and naught.

`beautiful delusions_
8:35 PM


<body>
Chaotic day

i don't see what's wrong with being honest with friends, or with people around. what's wrong with being just that slight direct and honest? i don't get it.

who should i listen to? you said one thing, and they said another. loved ones told me to stay outta it, stay away from you, stay outta this shit.

prove it, and mean it, like how you said it.
and at times i marvelled at how you manage to twist your words around, without showing anything. awesome. stop twirling me around your fingers, unless you can afford the consequences.

`beautiful delusions_
7:03 PM


<body>
Tuesday, March 24, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY JUNHUI BABY!

It was a blast yesterday over at Yunxia's. wheee, i'll upload photos soon! (: i promise *winks* alrighty, i got to rush. ahhhhh! i've been going out almost everyday =\ i wanna sleep.... zzz. lols.

i'm just gonna love you lesser,
'cuz i know you ain't gonna love me any more than this.
the reasons of holding on are gone.

`beautiful delusions_
3:07 PM


<body>
Monday, March 23, 2009

What a monday morning.

initially, i was sleeping soundly, like a little baby. it has been eons since i last had a good night's sleep. bloody hell. then someone called and bombed my phone. alrighty, she needs help, and it has got to do with money issues all over again. fuck it. and so, being stubborn, i decided to lend her the $$ despite many people persuading me not to do so. alright, if i were to lose the $$, i will blame myself.

overall, a bad monday. damn! i'm so gonna rant and rant now. omg. seriously, money is a sensitive issue, even between friends? i don't understand luhs. and thanks, i know i'm pretty much gullible, and has the "come cheat my money" face. bloody hell. ARGHS.

anyways, we're gonna bbq at Yunxia's place later on. Wheeee....! See ya later babes! ((: i cant wait. *evil grins* Junhui baby, i believe you know what i mean-your birthday celebration. HAHAHAHAS!

ps. i will update yesterday's "outing" and photos when i have the time. currently, i'm pretty much upset. seriously, i don't understand!! why're SOME people making use of me? example, digging info outta me about someone else, cheat my $$$, and basically, just... have a motive like that luhs! =.="" ahhhh! i should change my face to the "bad person" kinda looks huhs!? *ROARS*

and no,
i don't like complications.
you ought to know better.
the star's ain't suitable for you.

`beautiful delusions_
1:42 PM


<body>
Saturday, March 21, 2009

Today. 21st March 2009

OH MY GOSH. retail therapy works like crazy! hahahahas. my mood was sucky due to last night and 'cuz i didn't sleep well too! i woke up after a few hours of sleep and i was suffering from a horrible hangover this morning. i crept outta my bed to avoid conversations with my mom. after awhile, i went to prepare and out i went!

went to meet vanny love. oh my gosh, our first was Chinatown and it was soooo packed with many many "ti-ko peks." they were all staring at love and me! we were like, what the heck?! hahas. the shopping trip kinda had a bad start, i was having bad cramps. it was so bad that i nearly fainted. gee, thank goodness vanny love was around! (: she was looking after me, so dear (:

After which, we continued our trip. HAHAHAHAS. it was a fruitful one, i tell you! =D it was darn awesome. we got our own stuffs, and i've found my suspenders! (: also i've finally bought my facial sponge and eye lash curler. LOL. after which, we head down to bugis! ((:


On our way to bugis! =DD

Reached bugis and it was raining! oh gosh. still, we continued our shopping trip! wheee.. Bought several things. oh my gosh! we spent like no body's business-see, interested, check, BUY. hahas. this is how we spent our money, like rain- free flow. OMG.


I bought this watch! OMG. its so darn cute, and so, i got it for myself. WAHAHAHAS. still, i wanna buy my Levi's watch k! =D


Vest and jeans! (:


Suspenders! wheeee. this time round, i'm gonna keep it properly and not throw it away by accident again. LOL


The eye-lash curler and sponge. hahahas. finally luhs, i've been lazy to buy those, and finally, i have bought them.

For now, make a guess, what else did vanny love and i buy?! LOLOL. we bought different designs, and colours but from the same shop. WAHAHAHAS. guess!! ((:







Tah dah! HAHAAHAHHAS. HOT PINK *winks* LOL.

Went to meet caper bro after shopping! (: had dinner at cafe cartel with cas bro and miss R. hahahas. it was darn funny luhs, i was soo blur and then i embarrassed myself in front of them and the waiter. OMG. they were ALL LAUGHING AT ME. gosh. i could feel my face burning, back then. OMG. hahas.

Anyways, miss casper bro la! its been so long since i last met up with her. =DD and she got me something from Redang! wheeee! and coincidentally, i got her something too! uhs, but its from SG luhs. hehs.


darn nice luhs. "gui gui" (turtle). so cute. omg. ((: thanks bro!

Went home after that. it was a fruitful shopping trip and i felt so much better after spending lots and lots. LOL. omg :P i'm a happy kid! wheeee!

Yesterday. 20th March 2009
Thanks for the gift. i love it (:

`beautiful delusions_
10:38 PM


<body>

Finally..

i'm feeling sleepy. prolly 'cuz i've been at it for an hour or so. uhs, my "tap" is pretty much spoilt. once its on, difficult to turn it off. alrighty, nights/morning (:

the tears i've shed,
you've seen them flowing down for a thousand times before..
yet, it just seems the same.

`beautiful delusions_
3:56 AM


<body>
they say they ink themselves to feel the pain, to know that at least, they're still not that numb. they say they ink themselves to enjoy the pain, to know that at least something hurts more than the pain they're feeling. however, i didn't manage to feel any pain when i did mine...

you have no idea how much it hurts to hear those words coming from your mouth. you're someone whom i love so dearly. so dear that i'd be most willing to give up my own life for yours. you claimed that i have hurt you badly, but little did you know, that i've tried my best to minimise the pain that i might bring. i've tried, like seriously. i've given my best. yes, you wanted nothing much from me, but i cant be deprived of my own life. this is how my life is, and this is what its about. i cant deprive myself of my own friends, of my own emotions..

i believe everyone has their own rights to love. often people will say there isn't any rights or wrongs when loving someone. on contrary, love has its rights and wrongs as well. for example, being gay and loving people of the same sex is deem as wrong. in the eyes of society, its a sin, a crime, a disgust. so you see, how contradicting the people are? *shrugs*

its all tearing me apart.
i'm breaking apart,
but will you be able to hear my cries?
will you be able to feel me?
will you be able to understand?
i've fought against your wishes,
i've fought against my emotions.
each time i try to meet your expectations,
you set the mark higher.
i'm so worn out..
i just wanna be happy.
i just wanna be ME..

`beautiful delusions_
3:03 AM


<body>
Stolen.

the reason why i love to plug my earphones into my ears on such quiet nights is because, the music that is playing will shut out any other noises my surroundings might have. there i will be, indulging in the world of the melody, and lyrics, going with the flow of the music, feeling the music. i like the feeling when there's a little breeze, soft light from my table lamp, and me, sitting by the window, enjoying the night sky, with no disturbance. uhs.. of course, with the accompaniment of some music playing from my ipod. i love this kinda peace and serenity. though many times, different kind of thoughts will fill my mind, but at least, i do feel that i'm having my personal space. at times, i do feel that i can relate my emotions from the songs.

*sips my hot milo* i like nights like this-quiet and peaceful. its like, there's only music, the gentle breeze, the stars that twinkle silently in the night sky, and me. and oh, did i mention that i still talks to my soft toys? *laughs it off* i don't talk like talk out loud literally, but i do stare at my soft toys, and just..stare. okays, sounds childish, but at times i just feel really comfortable hugging my teddies. it just feels so cuddly and they do act as a form of comfort (:

the crowds seemed to be non-existent.
there's only place for peace and serenity.

`beautiful delusions_
12:59 AM


<body>
Friday, March 20, 2009

Stone-age.

I finished one big box of Beryl's strawberry white chocolates today. i think i'm gonna be down with fever tonight (or maybe my nose will bleed). i was watching the telly and i just kept munching away. awesome. mom said "walao! you no feel one is it?! fancy finishing the box of chocolates in less than an hour?!" (in chinese) i was like "huhs?" and my mum gave up talking to me. she said the telly has sucked my soul in =\

no, stop being a fool.
love yourself.

`beautiful delusions_
3:35 PM


<body>
Thursday, March 19, 2009

And oh, just a little note.

I don't know if its my e-mail/friendster that's cocked up, but i was expecting to see the reply as stated in my e-mail. however, it was missing when i logged in. i don't know what went wrong?! uhs, please do not let it be the way as i thought it to be =\

and oh, my mom's been trying to strip me. reason? spot check if i have any tattoos. amazing right? trust me, she ain't any fortune teller-my dad told her. LOL. omg, i'm so screwed. big time. damn.

my heart's on holiday.
i suppose, i cant give anymore..
alright, just stab me and i wont bleed.

`beautiful delusions_
1:23 AM


<body>
Hellos my dearies! (: been quite awhile since i last updated! wasn't online for the past 2 days or so. sorry! (: Anyways, allow me to relate my experiences for the past 2 days! (:


Day 1. 17th March 2009


Took bus 5, to Bukit Merah. OMG, i tell you, my ass can really burn like crazy. like seriously! the entire journey was 2 hours! it was that long okays! and i cant believe myself nodding to the job luhs! omg. i was literally stoning throughout the entire journey and trust me, it was darn nice to just stone, especially when it is raining. its nice to just look outta the window, with your ipod plugged into your ears, enjoying the scenery outside, despite the blurred vision..


Anyway, HY sent me to work luhs. darn nice of her to accompany me throughout the torturous bus journey. hahas. she got so bored, she took out her pen, and started doodling on my fingers, and i doodled on hers! hahas.


this is what i doodled on her fingers! hers too ugly to show :P

Ok,after the "butt-burning" ride, i went to meet Vanny love. While walking to the office, i saw this cute little fur ball at the coffee shop! ok, look carefully, 'cuz i've zoomed in quite alot. the little one is only the size of about one of those tiles on the floor! so can you imagine how tiny it is?! wells, i tried to get close to it, but i was afraid that i might get attack by its mom. LOL.

SUPER CUTE RIGHT?! OMG. it was mewing away, and i was super tempted to carry it to somewhere safer, with food. it was so weak that it shivered with every step it took. =\

Had a tiring day, packing and unpacking many many goodie bags. however things wasn't so bad as i only received a few cuts (read on, and you'll know why i refer 'few cuts' as not so bad).

For dinner, met up with HY and bro at lau pa sat to satisfy my cravings! (: wells, i had OT, and was soooooo tired. i've been suffering from insomnia for weeks already, so please, imagine my panda eyes. anyway, met them up for dinner, and satisfied my cravings.wheeee!


Wahahahas, this was only a part of what we ordered. i didn't take any more photos due to my oily hands and hungry stomach. we had stingrays and veggies, and rice. LOL. so yah, we were all so bloated that night after dinner..


After that heavy meal, we walked around, and we ended up near esplanade. so chatted, slacked for a little while before i rush home via cab.

Reached home around 12 i think. had a nice warm shower and i stone a little on my bed before i manage to doze off. oh, additional info, i have been sleeping around 2 or 3 am. dont ask me why, 'cuz i tried to sleep early, but i will simply lie on my bed, only to doze off around that time. seriously, without the influence of alcohols, i cant sleep early. what the fuck right. i know!

Day 2. 18th March 2009.

Woke up around 6am for work. i was darn shag when i dragged myself outta my cosy bed. went to work, but this time round, i took a train. LOL. darn smart right! LOLOL. manage to reach my working place half an hour early. that means i lost half an hour of my sleep! LOL. went to the coffee shop for some prata. HAHAS. thanks HY for sending me to work, that early luhs. serious (:

Working was hell today! trust me, i was cursing and swearing, and my partner thought i was crazy. LOL. i was laughing randomly, humming randomly, and cursing randomly. LOL. yah, that was how crazy i got. uhs... check out the room! we were walking on "plastic-bag-gish" floor luhs. it was so darn fucking messy and tiring! no space to walk at all please.


and oh, whilst packing, i got several cuts and my fingers bled :((


the entertainment for today-radio. we tried tuning it to some stations but to no avail. we gave up after that. hahas. cute right, the radio!? LOL.

Anyway, i mentioned that yesterday wasn't so bad? now, read this.. i was at the pantry with vanny love, refilling our water bottles and slack a little. AND SHIT HAPPENED. my jeans got stuck to the cupboard's knob, and when i was walking away, the cupboard flew open and hit my leg and feet with its sharp corners! awesome. vanny love was laughing like crazy, and i was trying to control my screams due to the PAIN. omg.




nice pantry right? but its a dangerous place to be if you're clumsy like me (:



Plaster-ed and bruised :(




Darn shag, but i was rewarded with Fish & co's New york fish n chips for dinner! Wheeeeeee! =DD Went home after everything. HAHAS. now, i can't wait to get my hands on the Levi's watch, and shopping! =DD




Vanny love and me. HEHs.



alrighty, that's all for now (:



its time i kick the bad addiction, for real.

`beautiful delusions_
12:24 AM


JOANNE __;
Photobucket
leo/horse `
very random and unpredictable (prolly weird) `

[loves lub] *
family `
loved ones `
everyone `


[wish] *
# family happy n peaceful n healthy (:
# everyone around me to be happy

# get a class 3 license
# Better job!


.Voices within.




.Sweet Escapes.
.Archives.
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
February 2013
September 2013
October 2013
February 2014
March 2014
May 2014
November 2014

.Credits.
Nicole
Inspirations