♥

The Melodies.

<body>
Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy new year in advance, all (:

Yays, kiss 2008 goodbye, sealing it with pleasant memories. Say hello to 2009, with expectations and with a happy heart! (:

mainly, just a random post which I would like to thank many people. First and most importantly, my parents (: thanks for being there like, always, and i know, it will be forever. thanks for loving me, pampering me, and guiding me all these while. really. i wouldn't know what to do if i were to lose you. though i may not say it literally, but i do love you, mummy & daddy (: and yes, nothing will be able to compare/replace you both! ((:

and of course, thanks to all who stood by me (: *short n sweet* LOL.

alrighty, PLAY tomorrow. woots. oh my, and movies today. lols! oh my. i'm tired though. zzz. i feel like sleeping. LOL.

`beautiful delusions_
3:12 PM


<body>
Tuesday, December 30, 2008

i'm going to bed.

most of all, thanks for loving.
blessed is the word (:
secondly, thanks for trusting.
like really.
lastly, i will be a good girl when i club (:
LOL.

hohohoho. tomorrow's school is a chore. 45mins of school and i can get my ass off that place. i need to change my shorts la. bugis-next stop. LOL. i pray, they have my shorts!!

at times i think i'm more dumb than you. 'cuz i dont catch indirect balls. HEH HEH. wood block, some called me (:

`beautiful delusions_
12:07 AM


<body>
Monday, December 29, 2008



沈祥龙-希望.

我一直以来都守护在你身边
不懂你如何看得见
只好静静靠在一边
你的笑容能让我开心一整天
只要一天没和你见面
我的心情不会好一点

时间已经不多
我还有话很想说
一留隐藏在我心里不懂如何开口

我们很快就要走
回忆也不算太多
简简单单希望你会懂

不能在一起也没关系
至少你懂我的心 会在想你
那些回忆会永远保持甜蜜

不管未来你会在哪里
我都不会忘记 我爱你
你是我微笑的原因只是希望你能比从前开心.

`beautiful delusions_
11:18 PM


<body>
Lightning and the star.

i like to call you the star 'cuz you never fail to brighten up my night. i called myself lightning 'cuz i come and go. I'm really unpredictable. I'm sorry, once again.

i like things the way they are.
it isn't time for changes, just yet.
i do like you.
however i do not want to make the same mistake i did,
stepping into a rs just because i like.
i wanna step into an rs because i LOVE.
maybe the lightning and star just isn't meant to be

`beautiful delusions_
11:46 AM


<body>
Sunday, December 28, 2008

Last day of holidays.

Here I am, online instead of doing my assignments?! What the hell. Its so horrible. Okays, i will start on it soon before heading out AGAIN. lols! I have been out like nobody's business la please. lols! BUT BUT BUT, i like the company (: movies, food, shoppings! i like-r like-r it (:

Anyways, I have gotten myself a pair of nice comfy shorts. wheee. I cant wait for countdown, I cant wait for the party on the 1st itself too. This time, no more wrong nights okays! once bitten twice shy. LOL. very wells, let's all chop passports and party on both nights! :P

i think i'm gonna die from lung cancer.
OH MY GOSH.
LOL.
she's dead.

i have made my confessions clear
(: but let things remain.
i prefer things this way.
no beginning=no ending.
i dont like to take risks (:

`beautiful delusions_
1:29 PM


<body>
Friday, December 26, 2008

PHOTOS (:




From Kid. It was darn nice of her, and thanks kid, for all the encouragement. Uh, yes, i will call you "kiddo" for as long as our friendship stands (:




From Casper bro. Thanks sooo muchie. Strawberries. Nice smell lo. LOL. Seriously, I felt like eating it instead of using it. HOHOHO. Smells sweet, TOTALLY (:



22nd Dec 2008.
Presenting to you, the small little fierce dog- MOK-kie.


After barking at me for awhile, this dog comes resting on my lap whilst i was waiting for the dough to freeze in the fridge. hahas. It's such a dear, totally (:

Tah dah, the results. Looks nice? Wait till you try it! It's ROCKING HARD. yes, i'm darn serious. lols.


21st Dec 2008
White dog-ged Cafe at Vivo. woots.


Fish & Chips (:

Some baked rice and Mango-chicken delight!
Really, the food was awesome. The view was awesome. All was awesome. LOL. Damn nice lo. *drools* After the heavenly meal, went to walk around. WOOTS.

Miss Justina, your pic is here. lols!


Tah dah, the Little Miss and Mr. Fun day.
That's all folks. =D

Thanks for the constant love,
without expecting anything in return.
Once in a lifetime...?
Once upon a time...?
I wish I have the energy and courage to give.

`beautiful delusions_
2:33 PM


<body>
Thursday, December 25, 2008

Little lamb

Walked, kena shocked (by the growing of people of the group) movie-d, cabbed, saw pretty-boy, partied, danced, random people-d, continued partying, oh my gosh-ed, shocked, zig-zagged, called, waited, and waited, cabbed, phoned, assured and whine-d, home, changed, zonk-ed.

`beautiful delusions_
1:10 PM


<body>
Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Oh my candy-loves.
photos will be up soon (sorry JL, your pic is still with me. HAHAHAS),
prolly after x'mas and all.
so bit-sy (busy)!
meanwhile, take care all!
MERRY X'MAS!

much loves,
beani (:

`beautiful delusions_
11:11 AM


<body>
Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Cookie-fied.

Pardon me for the STONE-like BLACK cookie. Sorry my dear ones. LOL. it was all made with love (: photos up soon. loves. Merry X'mas to all in advance. Jingle bells! ((: HOHOHO.

`beautiful delusions_
11:10 PM


<body>
Monday, December 22, 2008

This is gonna be my last post of 2008. Rather, this is gonna be the last proper post that is going to wrap up 2008, for me (: Wells, unless I have short entries to post, with photos (: And no worries, my dear ones, this will still be my official blog, so yeahs, I'm not abandoning this blog lahs ((:

Firstly, I have several confessions and issues to clear. I think it'll be better, as it will wrap up this year, with a clearer agenda. Here goes nothing :

1. All these while in my life, I have been facing some issues with my life. Be it family or relationship wise, there has been some issues going on. Thus, the avoiding, the hiding, and the running away..

2. I was and am still single ever since that fateful day. And no, i did not fall for anyone new all these while. The people whom i have mentioned anonymously indirectly, are friends, close friends, best friends who have been with me all these while. Yes, they are people who stood by me, and who spur me on. And no, none of them are my flings or part-time lovers or what so ever. Its just pure genuine friends love and concern. I love my friends for they're the ones who stood by me and make things work. And yes, I do love them, and the years of friendships are evidence! (:

3. Though I didn't say anything, that doesn't mean I'm not thinking things through. Though I didn't mention much about me being depress/blah, that doesn't mean i did not shed a tear, and neither does it mean I'm perfectly alright. Though i appeared cold and icy, it doesn't mean I'm not feeling anything.

4. Yes, i did hate you* so much when i found out things myself, rather than you* telling me yourself. I once said, if i were to find someone new, i will tell you. And you* said, you* would as well. Little did i know, you* didn't, and you* never did, till things became clearer via those online portals. For once, yes, once, I hated you* and the hatred went kinda way too deep that I deleted you* off my list. It also went off to the extend that how I wish i can just stab you* and let you* die. (lol) uhs, I felt kinda..how should I put it, erms, felt kinda surprised, in a bad way. Nonetheless, I do not hate you* now. It's more of like a..neutral kind of feeling. Since i was like saying and kept telling you* to move on and blah which doesn't matter now. In any case, I'm not being sarcastic or what so ever, but I really sincerely wish you* all the best (: Like really... Make the love last, forever,literally (: And I'm glad things did work out better for you, in a happier way..

5. I began to think and feel that I'm not who i thought myself to be. uhs, let's just put it this way. I'm built of insecurities. I have no idea what i really want in my life and I'm always feeling insecure and lost, myself. I even doubted myself as time goes by.. As i said, I'm made of insecurities, so how can i ever secure or assure my partner? Apart from that, I can never ever give my partner "forever" due to my situation. I have responsibilities to fulfil. This i realised, and i lost myself even deeper than i thought.

6. I did alot of self-reflections and thinking during this one week of hols after my exams. I started thinking about my future, my responsibilities, and my life. Uhs, whilst thinking, i suppose i was too immersed in my thoughts that, i went kinda hay-wired. *raise an eyebrow* yes, i went sorta crazy. Indulging in the wrong kind of things, thinking of every possible way to sin and break free. I thought i can break free by numbing myself, and avoiding everything for awhile. I was wrong. hell wrong..

uhs, i suppose that's all for confessions/clearing of air. moving on to part 2 of this lengthy post (:

Firstly, i wanna thank my dear ones and loved ones who stood by me, helping me to get up on my feet, and pull me outta the circle that i was walking in. The circle was leading me nowhere but back to square 1.

Dearest chocolate and kor, thanks for always being there to hold on to me, and spur me on. Thanks for all that you guys have done, really. Thanks for being there for me, always. I seriously have no idea how to thank you guys for the support that you have given me.. Yet, i really appreciate it, like really and genuinely ((: Nonetheless, I will always be there to support you guys and pull you up if you ever need any emotional support (:

Moving on, my ben dan (: Thanks for being there, always. Thanks for being there no matter how long we have cut contacts. Thanks for everything (: Thanks for understanding me, and being there like, always. Thanks for loving and supporting me unconditionally despite knowing what my answer will be. Thanks for constant encouragement, and helping me find myself. Thanks for being a shoulder for me to rely on whenever I need it. Thanks for bringing smiles to my face whenever its so ever drowning with tears. Thanks for not giving up on me and guide me back to the track. And Ben dan, i'm sorry as well. Sorry for the times I hurt you unknowingly, with my whines. Sorry for the times I made you worried and kept you up all night. I'm also sorry for the times that I pushed you away. Most of all, i'm sorry for the times that I hurt you by hurting myself..

Nonetheless, thanks for being there, always. And i will remember every single word that you once said to me. Yes, i will. I will cherish the times that you're by my side. Yes, i will. *big hugs* you know, I will remember you no matter where I might be.. Thanks for your support all these years whenever I fall. Like really, whenever I fall hard, you'd appear! (: Despite the little communication, I must say, you do understand me well. lols. Still, i'm sorry but thankful for your existence, ben dan. If i could, i wouldn't want you to leave. HOWEVER, i'm not that selfish. Like I always say, I'm not the best in the world. You can always find someone better than me by at least 10times out there. And so, may happiness be with you, always (:

Lastly, you*. uhs, ya. I just wanna thank you for all that you gave. And, thanks for the pleasant memories. Yeaps.

Alrighty, that's all! (: *phews* long entry. And I'm done. All ready to celebrate Christmas and new year, with a much lighter heart (: Alrighty, i'm running late, AGAIN! lols. *slaps forehead* when can I ever learn to be on time? Seriously, i need to set my new year resolutions SOON. lols! Toodles, and till later (:

xoxo,
joanne (:
(the little bean)

`beautiful delusions_
11:00 AM


<body>
Sunday, December 21, 2008

I have decided to do this.

Overdue photos (:

Town. 14th dec 2008
Went there for some x'mas shopping and dinner. uhs, the day i ate something else in my pizza and nearly died. =.=" thanks choc for coming out with me! (:








12th dec 2008. Fish & co.
it was after our last papers and thus, we decided to go there, to give ourselves a treat (: after that heavy dinner/lunch, Char and I headed to Raffles for work! (:



Suntec/Raffles place
I went there on the day just before my papers for the interview for holiday job (: thanks mad, for accompanying me! (:





Tah dah, all the overdue photos (: and now, moving on to my last post of 2008.. *to be continued, due to time constraint*

`beautiful delusions_
2:19 PM


<body>

Fall For You (Piano Version

WIILYOD- i will respect your decision just like how you always respected mine (: please do not say sorry 'cuz you know how much it will hurt if you do. please do not feel bad, 'cuz you know how much you matter to me.

no matter what, yes, you'll always be my ben dan, and i will always be your little ben dan as well. no matter what it is, you'll always have a special place in my heart. i will remember all that you once said to me. thanks, my ben dan. you're really one big ben dan.. (:

`beautiful delusions_
11:40 AM


<body>
Saturday, December 20, 2008

she's still one of my all time favourite (: even after all these years. who can deny the fact that she can touch people's hearts with her voice? (:

`beautiful delusions_
10:03 PM


<body>
http://xlmobileSHOP.blogspot.com/ wells, just helping someone to advertise (: Xylor. erms, selling handphones and blah. go visit it (:

`beautiful delusions_
6:57 PM


<body>
eye-bag-ged.

didnt manage to sleep well, as usual. AHHH. its like eye bags, and dark rings. and i have yet to gain my appetite back! oh my.. and even my aunt sms-ed me this "hellos my little panda. how is the little panda feeling today?" thanks lo! =.=" i dont wanna be a pure breed!

ben dan,
i promised that i will be good,
and so i will be (:

and my lover,
you're some sick ass. please get well soon (: and stop making me worried about you okays! haiyohs. *pat pat* it must have been a torture for you. please take good care of yourself or i will piak your butt again (: LOVE YA! =D

life is so full of surprises.
you get people getting close to you for a reason.
however, there's no reason for me to let my guard down.
especially towards certain people.
i was taught to protect myself,
the hard way.

the peace and serenity.
its nice to stay home once in awhile, staring at the ceiling on such windy afternoons, allowing soft music to play in the background, and listen to the rustling of the leaves from the trees.

`beautiful delusions_
3:38 PM


<body>
Friday, December 19, 2008

red light given.

told mom about it all. i was super uber shocked that she didnt scold me or nag at me. i whined, i cried, then i told her everything between sobs, in her arms. she understood my fear, my emotions. surprisingly, she slept with me through the entire night. once again, i felt like a little princess. thanks mom.. (: i really needed that. no other hugs can be compared to yours.

and yes, dearest aunt replied, and dang, the answer is the same as mom's. yes, i do get it, ladies. yes, i really do. uhs. fret not lady loves, i will always hang on strong for the sake of this family.

btw, i'm looking for recipes for x'mas cookies. uhs, i promised ben dan the big star cookie =.=" and so.. i have to bake it lahs. dangs. its either tue or mon (: suuu-weet, found the recipe. for a moment, i thought i have lost it. uhs. alrighty,time to do my assignments!

till then my dear ones. toodles!

sugar love,
someday you'll understand.
and someday,
i will make it forever..
just someday..

`beautiful delusions_
5:14 PM


<body>
Thursday, December 18, 2008

States,wait for me!

had quite a day. went out with mummy and grandma, finally. lols. it was a long day. and it's gonna be another long, sleepless night. so gotta rush my report and dcm blog stuffs. Oo" oh my. i think i'm gonna like really drop dead.

working again, next week. seriously, now i can just quit and not do it. i dont see a point in continuing the job anymore! i'm sooooo tired from the shopping and such. so gonna DIE. hahas. oh boy.

lastly, i cant wait for parents to nod their heads (: so i can go over to my aunt's. i need her so badly.. :( :( *whines* i wanna quit school and go over to join her :( i miss her hugs so dearly. i miss her words of motivation that kept me strong all this while. i just wanna be with her. okays,i will stop being whiny :(

and yes, i'm your big ben dan lahs. uh wells.. still, i think you're the big ben dan. really.. and, thanks my dear one. *big cuddly hug* you deserve it (:

`beautiful delusions_
11:59 PM


<body>
sex, drugs, rock and roll.

bolt-ed, BHC-ed (Beverly hills Chihuahua).
awesome movies. saw 2 of my long lost friends. shocking. then saw my junior and gf. even more shocking. oh wells. *shrugs* had quite a day. was so tired and drained. i dozed off the moment my head touches the pillow. awesome-ness.

got to run again. arghs. (chocolate love, i will update our photos soon. sorry! and please take care. i'm good, no worries. see ya soon. i cant wait *big smiles)

i will do what i promised.
i will not do it, and i will stop.
thanks for being by me and watch me stepping in and out of relationships.
thanks for not giving up on me,
no matter how much i have changed.
thanks for being there,
always..

`beautiful delusions_
12:21 PM


<body>
Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Kerli's fragile. manage to find it on youtube. awesome-ness.
relate it.

`beautiful delusions_
11:25 PM


<body>
i see html codes, everywhere.

in school for like dont know how many hours. trapped in that little room in business school and it was so darn cold. finally, i'm done with the blog skin. hahahas. should put my name there under credits la please. lols! it was enough to kill all of us. hehs.

i'm just so tired. oh my gosh. i need my sleep. otherwise i'm only 2 steps away to become a full-time panda..
dark rings-checked.
fair skin-checked.
fur-nope.
black patched on skin-nope.
see what i mean? *rolls eyes*

it was so quiet,
that i could hear the ticking,
and your breathing..
it was just so close,
and so quiet...
too quiet, to be precise.

`beautiful delusions_
10:20 PM


<body>
Monday, December 15, 2008

After hours of compiling, these are the "fruits" hahas. still have lotsa which i have yet to compile and add them together. OMG. i have no idea how i'm gonna tahan. meanwhile, please wait patiently. LOL.

13th Dec 2008
Outing with Miss D (D for dessert & dino) and casper bro! ((: before the outing, i was working and seriously, many many items to buy. spent like $300+. awesome! (: and thank goodness there's cas bro to help me. otherwise i think my hands are gonna break. LOL.




After Miss D has reached, we RUSHED to the steamboat place and we had steamboat! hahaha. it was so funny la. i think i can develop stomach abs already. and yes, you know, i know, she knows. LOL. oh my gosh!! *laughs*

After steamboat, we walked around bugis before we decided to settle at TCC. wheeeee!!






after a day, i reached home around 12plus i think. LOL. yes, its that night which i dozed off on the phone. BLAHS. whine and whine till dozed off. what the hell. LOL. uh wells. Had a fun-filled day ((:
thanks for the joy, the laughters and the constant love (:

`beautiful delusions_
2:46 PM


JOANNE __;
Photobucket
leo/horse `
very random and unpredictable (prolly weird) `

[loves lub] *
family `
loved ones `
everyone `


[wish] *
# family happy n peaceful n healthy (:
# everyone around me to be happy

# get a class 3 license
# Better job!


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