Pretty much mixed emotions here and there. Sorta beginning to miss the fun and friendly people here already. It's a pleasant day, and I felt like some sort of mini-star. LOL. Presents, photos, hand-shakes. It's really awesome and sweet (: And so, I'm gonna miss the awesome people here (: Till next time..
Gonna hit the floor tonight. Prolly gonna just go there to catch up with some friends (I feel too old to dance. Maybe a drink or two is fine. LOL). *Takes a deep breath. A wonderful Thursday, to end the SIP.. Uh....
`beautiful delusions_
5:39 PM
<body>
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I don't know. A sudden rush of emotions, and I have no idea how should I type them here. Its like too sudden, and too fats for my fingers to comprehend with the brain. I don't know why, but there's this different wave lengths of emotions within me.
It's prolly the fear, the insecurities, and those shit all over again. Its like these feelings/thoughts can never get enough of me. They haunt me. I mean, I have no idea what came over me, but right now, at this very moment, I'm like fighting these negative stuffs. I have no idea what's wrong with me =\ Prolly after all the excitement about ending the SIP, this is when mixed emotions dawn in..
Ok, 2 more days. This is the exciting shit, I tell you. LOL (:
Everyone has a certain past that they wanna conceal, they wanna forget. So do I, yet the only thing I can do is to erase those virtual memories. I can never erase those that are stored in my head.
`beautiful delusions_
9:05 PM
<body> Don't ask me why I'm here, at this time. Let's do this discreetly. Okays, probably I can't. Nothing much, just thought of reviving my space with some rants and updates. On second thoughts, nothing much to type in this little confined space.
The space is the huge shit. The people are big (be it physically or otherwise). I feel so darn fucking small here. Its only when I'm out, I feel that I'm my own size.
blahs. this entry sucks, I know. Bear with it. HEHS. I will upload photos if I can (or if I'm not too lazy). This place needs some revamping.
`beautiful delusions_
12:12 PM
<body>
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Its just another typical Saturday afternoon. Everyone was at home, busy with their stuffs. The mum was busy with her house chores, the dad was busy tightening the some pump in the toilet, and of course, I was busy reading a book, relaxing to some music. I guess nothing can be more pleasant than a stay-home afternoon, spending some time with family, and yourself.
Whilst the music was airing through the radio, thoughts were filling my little brain. Its been a while since i last spend sometime with myself. I like the kind of serenity, and yeahs, the kind of feeling that shouts: Hey, I'm not rushing for time. I'm just enjoying myself, and I don't give a damn what time is it, 'cuz this afternoon is mine. And for once, I didn't have to bother how fast or how slow the time is flying or crawling. This is BLISS.
Talking about time, I'm gonna digress a little to talk about my future. YES, MY FUTURE. You see, currently I'm having my attachment in The House, and everyone's been asking me: "So what do you intend to do after you graduate from poly? It's fast, isn't it? You're going to finish your attachment here, and back to school, then graduate. So do you have any plans?" This is the typical kind of questions I get recently.
Seriously, I've no idea where I'm heading to after graduation. I've thought of studying (pte) for a degree, but I have no interest in studying (but the practical side of life urge me to study-for the degree, for a better job). Another part of me prefers to work freelance or something. So you see, I'm lost about my future, and I'm like "omg, so what am I gonna do about it?!" In a way, I'm pretty much afraid of the future =\ Some said "when you've reached the end of the jetty, you'll know" Some chinese phrase la.
Uh wells, I'm not sure lehs. How? =S Tsk, this "future planning" thing is getting on my nerves. RAHS. Again, life is too short for you to plan anything far, isn't it? =D
`beautiful delusions_
3:31 PM
<body>
Sunday, November 1, 2009
From time to time, things change. From those changes, people learnt-be it the good way, or the bad way, but nobody can ever escape from changes. Its just like metamorphosis-whereby changes take place..
It seems tougher with whatever changes that comes our way. Its just like promises are never fulfil, whereby words and promises are used to make another happy. Can those meaningless alphabets make one happy...? Or is it that humans are greedier, apart from those alphabets that form words, they want something more to prove everything...? Is it really the case, or is it always me? I was taught to feel, than to just listen unknowingly. I guess, its just me-unable to accept changes, unable to accept reality, unable to accept whatever things that're thrown at me-forcing me to digest every single bit.
Work is NEVER fun. Its more of like those "political-read-in between-the-lines kind of environment." TSK. *ahems* HOWEVER, the people there are nice. *AHEMS* Okay, discussion close-there isn't any in the first place.
I have a feeling- I've fallen, way too fast, way too deep.
`beautiful delusions_
2:16 PM
JOANNE __;
leo/horse `
very random and unpredictable (prolly weird) `
[loves lub] *
family `
loved ones `
everyone `
[wish] *
# family happy n peaceful n healthy (:
# everyone around me to be happy
